COUNTRY TALK

PHANTOMS, SPIRITS AND AN ELECTION

“Our quest for free and fair elections next year seems to have hit another rough patch!”

“What is the news?”

“Pieces of equipment-known as Direct Data Capturing machines (DCC) - needed by our electoral body, INEC, in conducting next year’s general elections, were reported stolen, after their arrival at the International Airport”

“That’s sad! One would think that equipment as critical as that should have been accorded priority attention”

“And to think that only recently, a princely sum was expended in upgrading security at the airports”

“Any how, security and other relevant agencies at the airport have been passing the buck!

“Typical but who could be behind this? There must be leads or clues, the police could follow!”

“I have important information to share. Do you promise not to tell?”

“In the name of all that is good.”

“A friend’s uncle knows the identities of the perpetrators!”

“What! You must be kidding! Was he at the scene of the crime? That either makes him an accomplice or a star witness”

“Relax my friend! He was in the comfort of his home. He possesses this knowledge with the aid of a device!”

“A device?”

“Known as the SPIRIT-O- METER. With it, he ascertained that the thieves came in as phantoms, waltzed their way through security with the DCC machines and disappeared into thin air!”

“This must be the ninth wonder of the world! So, can the Federal Authorities get to work with the evidence at this man’s disposal?”

“Yes, as a patriotic citizen, he wants the best for the country, especially as the elections draw near”

“Good, so we can bring the criminals to book”

“However he has certain demands!”

“Demands? I thought he wants to help?”

“Just listen! In addition to him being awarded the highest honours in the land, he wants to conduct next year’s general elections – on his own!”

“Conduct next year’s elections all on his own? If the first demand is a bit outlandish, the second must border on the insane! If I might ask, how does he, entirely on his own intend to conduct the voter’s registration exercise, the elections proper and other related tasks!”

“With the aid of the SPIRIT-O-METER; it is programmed to carry out multiple tasks”

“And if his requests are not granted, what happens?”

“He is an optimist and is prepared to wait!”

“These are exciting times we live in”

“And he plans to make them even more exciting!”